Re: Trial and Error
by Umi Hinode
Summary: It was too quiet. Shizuo couldn't hold onto the life he wanted. All he needed was a push in the right direction, and Orihara Izaya would happily oblige. There was always the possibility of his plan backfiring, but it was a risk of many he supposed he could take. The last thing he expected, however, was for ruining the other man's life to turn into getting along - for the most part.
1. the beginning of the end

**i - the beginning of the end**

Heiwajima Shizuo was always something odd in Orihara Izaya's eyes, that much was fact.

The list of flaws that Izaya had placed on him was never ending; short-tempered, unpredictable, inhuman. The only praise the informant could give was his entertainment value, never failing to lead him into a new scheme. Within those schemes he could test the very reasons he hated the entity that was Heiwajima Shizuo, and forever make light to the fact that what he felt towards Shizuo was indeed hatred.

His nemesis was a monster, after all. Cursed to be the strongest man in the world, Izaya wondered, what else could his purpose possibly be? Monsters weren't supposed to live happy lives; they were to be cornered by their enemies and rid from the world.

Izaya could only fulfill half of this plan.

Not once had the god succeeded in slaying the monster.

Each and every time, Izaya had to find out how to come back better, setting fire to the life Shizuo had built.

Each and every time, Shizuo evaded his efforts, protecting the happiness he had found, only adding to the other man's frustration.

How?

How was it that a monster could have close family, friends, and a happy life - in a place like Ikebukuro, at that?

It wasn't fair.

Shizuo was supposed to suffer.

Why weren't his plans working?

. . .

It was too quiet.

Shizuo couldn't hold onto the life he wanted.

All he needed now was a push in the right direction.

And Orihara Izaya would happily oblige.

. . .

"Tch."

Cigarette pack in hand, Shizuo wasted no time pulling one out and putting it to his lips. His tired eyes fixated on the smoke now in front of him instead of his accompaniment, the two trailing behind him exchanging glances.

His senior Tanaka Tom and junior Varona both shared more indifferent looks, Tom being used to having an exasperated Shizuo around, and Varona accustomed to her robotic nature, though both shared some concern for their friend.

"Shizuo, you don't look so good. Why don't you let Varona handle things next time?"

"Affirmative. You seem deeply troubled, Shizuo-senpai. I would like to request that I carry that burden instead."

Shizuo came to an abrupt stop, Tom slamming right into him and stumbling backward, attempting to keep his balance. When he was able to stand up straight, Shizuo rubbed the back of his neck, eyes drifting off. "Sorry. I've been a little out of it lately."

"I've noticed." Tom pushed his falling glasses back against his face, giving the blonde a tease of a smile. "Maybe you should take some time off."

His junior shook his head, responding almost instantly. "No, it's fine."

"Come on, Shizuo. Didn't you say that Kasuka was going to be in town this week?"

When met with Tom's pleading eyes and a faint smile from Varona, Shizuo couldn't entirely refuse. "Yeah, but-"

"No buts. How many days do you want? Five? Seven?"

"Huh? Isn't that too much?"

"You never take days off. Don't worry about it."

Shizuo let out a light sigh, though he nodded his head in agreement, not willing to argue it out any further. "Alright. If you say so."

It was true that he wasn't looking forward to being a burden for the two, and either way, he would be one, so it wasn't as if he had much of a choice. If he chose to stay, his anger would surely build up and break him once again, but without him there, work would be a bit more difficult for Tom and Varona. With one mention or glance at Heiwajima Shizuo, work was done easily. He could say that Varona was starting to make a name for herself, though.

Besides, why should he have to feel like a burden in the first place? They were his friends, after all. He knew they would understand.

For the longest time in a while, he didn't have anything to worry about.

At least, until an all too familiar white fur trim caught his eye.

. . .

Orihara Izaya was the epitome of _terrible_ in Heiwajima Shizuo's eyes, that much was true.

He was a filthy human being, always placing himself above his "beloved humans" and Shizuo himself. He messed with people's minds and lives on a daily basis, and for what? For fun.

It was that fact that led to Shizuo's disgust for the informant. Izaya thought of no one but himself, and how he could carry on making money off of innocent people's despair. If anyone was the monster of the two, Shizuo would say it was Izaya.

While he still carried part of the heavy burden of self-loathing, he was growing as a person and learning from his mistakes, becoming truly human - what he wanted to be. With Izaya always getting in his way, however, he often lost bits of the progress he had made, the desire to destroy the other man returning with each encounter.

It was simple, really. Beat the informant at his own game, and rid his existence from the world.

Shizuo could only fulfill half of this plan.

No matter how hard he tried in the past, he could never bring himself to finish Izaya off.

No matter how hard he tried in the present, nothing changed.

Heiwajima Shizuo couldn't bring himself to kill another human being.

Even if that human being was Orihara Izaya.

. . .

It was just a bit frustrating. He wanted Izaya gone, but at the same time, it felt like part of him didn't want that.

It was nothing short of strange.

But what he needed wasn't any more weight put on him by Izaya, even if it was indirect.

So until Izaya decided to strike, he would let it go.

. . .

If Izaya were to say that he stopped by Ikebukuro for reasons other than Shizuo, only half of that statement would be a lie.

He was growing to miss the city, keeping himself cooped up in Shinjuku for longer than expected. It was a breath of fresh air to be back, though he still had quite the agenda to keep up with.

Like dealing with a certain Yodogiri Jinnai, for example.

It was indirectly Shizuo's fault that he had been stabbed, even. Though, months had passed and he wasn't particularly only to hold a grudge, so he declared his actions would be carried out as usual.

In the name of entertainment.

His spotting of Shizuo was even an accident, while he was waiting for a client to show up for a lunch meeting. It didn't take any effort whatsoever to spot the blonde through the restaurant's windows, and with a text so conveniently canceling the meeting, Izaya was off, and with a somewhat grand entrance to top it all off.

Turning on his heel, the informant wore his usual grin, putting his hands to his hips. "It's been a while, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo was completely frozen, and his companions now stood at either side of him, Varona eyeing Izaya with a rather deadly glare for her usually emotionless eyes, he thought.

The cigarette that had been in Shizuo's mouth fell to the ground and was soon crushed by his shoe as he approached the other man. "Yeah, Izaya. . ."

The informant's grin only widened as Shizuo made a move to grab him by the collar, with him leaping backward before the blonde had a chance.

"Now, now, you wouldn't want to make a scene, would you?"

Had it been anyone else he was speaking to, they might have thought Izaya's voice was charming and smooth, and they might have nodded in response.

Shizuo wasn't "anyone else", however.

"Get out." His fists were clenching and unclenching, resting at his sides of his own free will.

"Why should I? I'm just trying to have a quaint little reunion with a dear _friend_ , you know, after our falling out. . ."

Still Shizuo did not move. "Drop the act, fleabag."

Izaya stuck his tongue out, replying slowly and sweetly, but with just enough force to set the other man off.

"And. What. If. I. Told. You. . ."

The tip of a switchblade met Shizuo's neck, and with an innocent looking smile, Izaya completed his sentence. "No?"

He turned, only taking a step forward as he began to speak once more. "I'm just trying to see how you've been, Shizu-chan. You haven't gotten into any trouble, have you?"

Silence.

Izaya gazed over his shoulder, one eye meeting Tom's, Varona's, and lastly, Shizuo's, and let his parting words leave his lips.

"Such a shame they should have to see you like this."

One more step forward, and another. Two seconds later and he was yanked backward by his hood, dangling in his enemy's grip until he made his great escape.

Once again, a screech of the informant's name would pierce the sky, and was music to the said man's ears.

Ikebukuro could never truly be at rest, as long as two particular individuals ruled the city, one never truly without the other.

And so was the existence of Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo.

. . .

For his first day off, Shizuo expected nothing less than peace and quiet, with no sort of headache - especially not in the form of Izaya.

His pursuit of the other man the day prior ended on a low note, when he decided that the chase would accomplish nothing, and that Izaya, as usual, wasn't worth his time.

Sure, Izaya had made a comment about his friends, but Shizuo realized he should know better by now.

Don't give into Izaya, don't give in, don't give in. . .

That was how things should have gone.

Sadly, that was not the case.

Shizuo's head was throbbing, sight blurry as he first opened his eyes, and when everything started coming together, he realized he wasn't in the comfort of his bed, but his hard floor.

Though his sight had adjusted, his mind was still fuzzy, leaving him trying his best to comprehend the situation.

It certainly wasn't just another Tuesday.

As the bodyguard sat up, he felt his phone vibrate in his breast pocket, and when he flipped it open, he supposed he could find his answer.

In the form of a text from Izaya.

[You were in pretty rough shape last night, so I decided to be the better man and drop you off~ How was the floor? Cold as your heart, I bet~ (¬､¬)]

Shizuo clenched his phone, though quickly let it fall into his lap before he had the chance to break it.

 _The hell?_

 _What's he talking about - last night?_

Without another second to contemplate, Shizuo retrieved his phone, dialing Izaya's number and waiting rather impatiently for him to pick up.

With a yawn, Izaya greeted him. " _Ah, Shizu-chan._ "

"Tell me what happened right now before I come over and kill you."

The informant chuckled in response. " _Not much. Needless to say, you were acting quite out of character. Much too friendly for my liking._ "

"Make sense, flea."

" _Ne, Shizu-chan, what do you say we-_ "

"I didn't call you to put up with your shit again. Stop beating around the bush and answer me, would you!?"

" _You're too impatient. If you wouldn't interrupt me, maybe you'd get your answer._ "

Shizuo sighed. "Fine."

" _Thank you. Now, as I was saying, what do you say we play a game?_ "

It was a simple request, but all the while, not simple at all. Shizuo understood better than anyone how something like this would turn out, and he wasn't pleased with Izaya's attempts.

"A game? I don't have time for this, Izaya."

" _It'll be fun. All you have to do is play, and you'll get your answer. It's as simple as that._ "

Shizuo snorted. "Easy for you to say."

" _I'm trying to be helpful, and this is what I get?_ " Izaya sighed in return, though continued on with his offer. " _If you're willing to cooperate, meet me at Shinra's in one hour._ "

Without any parting words, Izaya hung up, leaving a frustrated and dumbfounded Shizuo to fall back onto his couch, closing his eyes and taking in every word that was said. Part of him considered staying home and not bother trying to figure everything out. He was dealing with Izaya, after all. For all he knew it could be something unimportant and as part of him assumed, a waste of time.

Izaya's initial statement still echoed in his mind despite that thinking.

 _Needless to say, you were acting quite out of character. Much too friendly for my liking._

That statement made this an issue he couldn't just ignore. When had he ever been friendly with someone like Izaya? Wouldn't he remember something like that?

Much to his disbelief, this wasn't something unimportant.

He could only hope Izaya would play fair - two phrases that never belonged in the same sentence - and that all would be resolved by the time Kasuka came to visit.

With great reluctance, he found himself standing at Shinra's doorstep an hour later, greeted by not his friend, but Izaya.

"What a pleasant surprise. I didn't think you'd actually show up."

Shizuo frowned. "Let's just get this over with."

With a smirk ever in tact, Izaya stepped aside for Shizuo to enter, the blonde's frown remaining even as Shinra gave him a nod in greeting.

"After our meeting yesterday, I thought it would be best to have Shinra mediate. I'd rather not die today, after all." Izaya pulled over a chair from the kitchen, sitting down in front of the already seated doctor, restlessly kicking his legs back and forth.

Shinra cast him a sly grin. "You have to admit, that would be pretty entertaining."

Shizuo didn't laugh, but his expression did soften. It was no surprise that the doctor would side with him.

"I'm not here to kill you," Shizuo said simply as he took a seat beside Shinra. "I'm here to get answers, so just get to the point already. You had me wait an hour."

Izaya exhaled, placing his chin in his hand as a pout reached his lips. "You're no fun sometimes, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo furrowed his brows, and Izaya sat back up, letting his hands fall into his lap. "Alright then, I'll get straight to the point."

The bodyguard had to make a great effort not to interrupt him with a sigh of relief.

"In exchange for your answer, I'd like for you to be my secretary."

At first, there was silence.

Then. . .

" _Hah?!_ "

And so the game began.

* * *

 **author's note**

Welcome back, everyone! Or if you happen to be new, welcome! Finally, I can introduce you to the rewrite that I have wanted to write for the entirety of this fic's life. I'm really glad I waited this long, though, or else I wouldn't have gotten as far as I did (casually thanks everyone again).

Now before I make this an extremely long AN, my apology and thanks to everyone is over in chapter 31 of the old fic if you want to check that out, and it also has some rambling about what else I'd like to accomplish alongside this fic, but that can also be seen in my profile. As always, chapter progress will be updated on my profile and general updates will be posted over on my tumblr.

If you're new, thank you for reading and I hope you'll stick around for future chapters!

Also, happy birthday to both t&e and Varona! I didn't know it was her birthday until a few months afterward last year, and I had to laugh because this is quite the coincidence. I absolutely adore her, and she has finally made her way into the beginning~

As always, I hope you all enjoyed and I'd love to hear what you think! Quite a bit has changed, but I think I can safely say that it's for the better. For now, new chapters will be released every Thursday, but knowing me, that schedule will definitely change somewhere along the line. It shouldn't be anything as drastic as the last few updates, though.

And with all of that finally out of the way, I'll see you next week!


	2. side effects may vary

**ii - side effects may vary**

Though it had been his own decision, Shizuo couldn't fathom why he agreed to any of this.

He had been given a week off, specifically to spend with his brother who would be visiting within the hours following, yet there he was sitting face to face with his enemy, welcomed right into said enemy's apartment, and expected to be said enemy's secretary.

What a hell of a vacation that would be.

. . .

"Why do I have to be your secretary, exactly?"

"It's called compromise, Shizu-chan."

"How long do I have to put up with this?"

"A lot longer than intended if you plan to continue whining."

Shizuo bit his lip to keep himself quiet, eyes narrowed as he kept them leveled with Izaya's, the raven haired man entertaining himself greatly with Shizuo's displeasure.

"Ah, so that's what will get you to stay quiet."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "So, am I getting paid for this?"

Izaya smirked. "Desperate, are we? Say, how much do you owe in property damage? Probably a lot more than a simpleton like you can conjure up."

"Shut it," Shizuo snapped. "I'm working on paying it off."

Izaya tapped his fingers on his desk, staring off blankly. "I suppose if you do your job well, I could pay you."

"No catch?"

The informant's wide grin returned. "No catch."

Shizuo didn't respond until Izaya outstretched his hand, leaving the blonde puzzled for a moment.

"Well, Shizu-chan, I'll be looking forward to working with you."

Shizuo hesitated, refusing to return the gesture with an unwavering frown.

"Don't make this worse than it already is."

Which, of course, was exactly what Izaya did.

Shizuo knew he shouldn't have expected anything less than the usual discontent.

Each time he catered to Izaya's demands, the informant only added on to a never ending list - go get this, go get that, reschedule these appointments, file these documents - it was tiresome, plain and simple. The snide comments Izaya dropped in between made it all the more worse.

He wanted nothing more than to quit, right then and there. He was beyond stressed, with a headache on par to the one he had suffered just hours prior, if not growing worse.

The only problem was, if he walked out, it was game over.

He would've suffered for nothing.

Just like every other time Izaya got involved.

He supposed this could be his time to strike, get back at the informant for everything he had done.

Leaving him with a scar on his chest, sending delinquents and gangs out after him all throughout high school, framing him for murder - twice.

If only he had a plan. . .

. . .and if only he was aware of Izaya's.

. . .

"There. I did everything you asked me to. I'm leaving."

"No."

"The hell do you mean, 'no'?!"

Izaya let out a soft chuckle, putting his feet down on the ground to halt his spinning chair. "We made an agreement, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo snorted.

"Well, partially. Someone didn't return my handshake, after all," Izaya continued, eyeing the other man sincerely. "However, you can't break your promise as easy as that. You promised to be my secretary."

"And I was your secretary today," Shizuo said through barred teeth. He knew what was coming next.

"I never specified a day."

There went that vein in his forehead.

"Dammit, flea, you said there was no catch!"

"And how could there be a catch if your exact job was never specified?"

"Fine, then. I want my answer."

Izaya merely grinned, looking off as if he were in thought before giving his reply. "Hmm. I don't think you're ready to hear it, especially when you're two seconds away from snapping my neck."

"I'll snap your neck if you _don't_ give me an answer."

"You haven't fulfilled your job requirements yet. So, you won't be getting your answer for the time being."

Shizuo let out a low growl in his throat, slamming his hands down onto the informant's desk. "What the hell am I even supposed to do to 'fulfill my job requirements', hah? Is this all this is? Running back and forth as your errand boy while you do _what?_ "

Cautiously, he whirled one of Izaya's monitors around, making a small incomprehensible noise as he stared at the screen. On it was a chat room, replies blowing up in front of him. "A fucking chat room?!"

Izaya closed his eyes, putting a hand to one of his ears. "Shizu-chan, if you could please stop screaming, I'd be very grateful."

Shizuo took in a deep breath, crossing his arms and sitting back down in his chair. "So, what? Are you just going to make me do all of your work?" He lowered his voice back to its usual tone, though still shot Izaya a deadly glare. "If that's the case, I'm leaving."

"Not exactly," Izaya replied. "That was mainly just to see how competent you could be."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow as he continued.

"My work isn't as bland as it seems, Shizu-chan. I'm not always at my desk."

"Name one thing you actually do."

Izaya's smirk resurfaced. "Undercover work, of course. How do you think I get some key information?"

The bodyguard was silent.

"Honestly," Izaya sighed. "You asked, and I answered. So, how about we make a deal."

"Oh, _great._ "

Izaya frowned and turned his monitor back around. "It's 5:45 right now. Why don't you go meet up with that beloved brother of yours, and meet me back here at 11:45?"

Shizuo tensed at the mention of Kasuka, though let it slip away as he sat there bemused with Izaya's proposition. "And what if I don't come back?"

"Then you won't have a free day without me for the rest of your life. Simple as that."

Though there was the possibility of his statement being a lie, Shizuo wasn't willing to risk it. What could possibly be worse? Meeting Izaya late at night, or waking up to annoying texts, annoying phone calls throughout the day, constant visits in the middle of the night. . .?

"11:45, right?"

"I'll see you then."

. . .

The train ride back to Ikebukuro was just as uninteresting as his whole day had been, though this time, he didn't have Izaya to put up with, so that was a plus in his book. It was fairly quiet, save for a couple's quarrel opposite him, though he managed to block it out with a call to Kasuka.

" _Nii-san._ " Kasuka picked up on the first ring, his monotonous voice ever clear as he spoke.

"Hey, Kasuka. Are you in town yet?"

" _I'll be there shortly. Are we still meeting up at Loterria?_ "

"Yup. I had a couple of things to do earlier, so I might be a little late. Sorry."

" _It's fine. I'll see you then._ "

"Bye."

Shizuo slid his phone back into his pocket, resting his head against his seat and closing his eyes. He was just relieved that he would even be able to see his brother, with the actor's busy schedule usually getting in the way, and now including what Shizuo had gotten himself into.

No, he couldn't keep thinking about Izaya like this. He would finally have time with Kasuka - why waste it worrying over the flea?

With a hurried trip back to his apartment out of the way, Shizuo was off to Loterria, smiling when he spotted Kasuka in their usual booth. Upon seeing him, Kasuka cast him a small nod and soon after, Shizuo took his seat.

"Well, it's been a few months, huh?" Shizuo said with no preamble, earning another nod from his brother.

"It's good to see you, nii-san."

"Yeah. I've missed you," Shizuo replied. "I didn't make you wait too long, did I?"

Kasuka shook his head. "No. I am a little hungry, though. What do you want?"

"Are you sure? I can pay this time."

Kasuka silenced him with a simple glance. "You paid last time."

Defeated, Shizuo let out a quiet grumble, "Same as usual."

As his brother stood up and walked off, Shizuo could have sworn he saw a smile.

. . .

"Quick, while Shizuo-san's not with him!"

Shizuo flinched. _What?_

"Finally. . .Yuuhei."

 _Oh no._

Just as he feared, when he turned in the direction of the failed hushed voices, he caught the all too familiar animal hoods of the all too familiar troublesome twins.

Orihara Mairu and Orihara Kururi.

Before either could make a move, Shizuo shot up out of the booth, wasting no time grabbing the two by their hoods.

"Wah! Shizuo-san! Let go of me!" Mairu squealed, flailing her arms around.

Shizuo groaned, dropping the two back on their feet. Thankfully, the back of the restaurant wasn't as crowded, so there wouldn't be as much worry over a scene.

"Don't tell me you stalked my brother here again."

The twins turned to face him, both with equally mischievous grins enough to make for an answer.

"Coincidence (We're here on accident)."

Shizuo frowned. "That so?"

Mairu nodded, making up for her sister's lack of enthusiasm. "Yup! We just so happened to finish kicking ass over at the gym, and I'm _starved_." As she spoke, Mairu swung her fists out before letting her head fall back onto Kururi's shoulder as she finished.

"Trust (Do you doubt us that much). . .Shizuo-san?" Kururi added, looking up at him with a questioning gaze.

"Alright, I'll buy your story. Just leave us alone, okay? I don't want a repeat of last time."

Mairu folded her arms, looking off away from the blonde. "Hmph. Fine. I guess we can just admire from afar. Like we always do. . ."

Shizuo put a hand to his face, irritation beginning to build up, though he finally came to a conclusion. "Is an autograph good enough for you?"

The twins exchanged glances, both beaming at his sudden statement. "Really?!"

Shizuo nodded. "Just promise me you'll keep quiet and stay in your own booth."

Mairu almost instantly saluted. "Will do!"

Taking her twin's hand, she rushed off back to their booth, directly across from where Shizuo had been sitting. He could only hope that he wouldn't have to keep too good of an eye on them.

Shortly after Shizuo reached the booth, Kasuka returned with food, and one of Shizuo almost instantly dug in, his own stomach growling. Lunch hadn't exactly been on his mind earlier.

"So, how's filming going?"

"Everything's been finished, so I'll be home for a little while. I've already made arrangements for a flight to Sweden for a new movie."

Shizuo smiled. "You're really getting up there, huh?"

" _Psst!_ "

 _Damn twins._ He didn't even have to look at them to feel his agitation returning. _I swear, they're almost as bad as the flea sometimes._

When Kasuka gave a plain nod in return, Shizuo reluctantly brought the twins' issue up.

"Hey, you wouldn't mind writing an autograph out, would you?"

Kasuka cocked his head in question, and Shizuo let out a nervous chuckle in response. "Sorry, I know that's a bit random. It's for a. . .friend."

Cue Mairu's giggling.

Kasuka didn't ask any questions, pulling a piece of paper out of his wallet along with a pen, scribbling his name and sliding it over to his brother.

"Sorry about that. I see you're prepared, at least."

Lucky for those damned twins.

. . .

The wait for 11:45 was much more dreadful than he had first anticipated, leaving a surprisingly impatient Shizuo with eyes on the clock.

 _Why's he having me meet him so late?_ He frowned at the one possible reason that came to mind, but then again, it was pointless. There was no way that Izaya could kill him. It was a ridiculous thought to even consider in the first place. _I swear, if he has any crazy shit planned. . ._

He arrived in Shinjuku ten minutes early. Nothing interesting came on TV Tuesday nights, so he was left with almost nothing to do after leaving Kasuka behind. It was upsetting and unfortunate that he lacked more interesting hobbies. Still, he had two choices; carry out his rare day off with no problems aside from boredom, or risk meeting Izaya again.

 _This is ridiculous._

Yet somehow, he chose the latter.

. . .

Three knocks at Izaya's door, and the informant met him with his usual smirk.

"Oh, I probably should have told you. You're going to need some darker clothes."

"Huh?"

"I hope you don't mind, but we're going to be breaking into Yagiri Pharmaceuticals."

" _Huh!?_ "

Izaya chuckled.

"Couldn't you do something that doesn't involve breaking the law? Like talking to someone who works there, maybe?"

"It's an abandoned building, so technically-"

"Technically it's still breaking and entering."

"Come on, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo grimaced at his pleading voice. "No."

"Are you forgetting our deal? Surely you wouldn't want anything bad to happen, right?"

". . .Shut up."

. . .

12:00.

"You really don't own anything besides those bartender outfits, do you?"

Shizuo frowned, trying his best to walk off from the informant, who was currently much too occupied with chattering away in his ear.

"I have a few things," he grumbled. "Just not all black, because I don't go and break into buildings like a damn criminal."

"You still break into buildings on occasion," Izaya murmured, walking with his hands behind his head. "Anyway, hurry up. We haven't got all night."

. . .

12:51.

The two finally reached their destination of Yagiri Pharm, clad in all black, Izaya swinging a bag over his shoulder.

"I can't believe I've stooped low enough to help you out - and break into a damn building, at that."

Out of habit, Shizuo put a cigarette to his mouth, Izaya scrunching his nose beside him.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't light your cancer sticks in my presence."

"Too bad."

With a roll of his eyes, Izaya approached the fence in front of them and began climbing up, a wary Shizuo watching him reach the top and flip over, landing squarely back on his feet.

"No need to show off," Shizuo muttered, following after him after seeing for himself that the informant hadn't been shot down or targeted by bright lights. Still, why was he following him? Why? Why. . .?

"And why not? I should have the right to show my worth over your own." Izaya didn't face him, strolling forward, hands in his pockets, as if he didn't have a care in the world.

When Shizuo got just a bit closer to the informant, he blew his cigarette smoke out towards him, earning a cough and look of absolute disgust as Izaya turned to face him.

"What worth?" Shizuo replied bravely with a weak smirk.

"You're such a child." Izaya frowned, taking a step forward and snatching the cigarette from Shizuo's mouth before crushing it with his foot. Muttering more to himself, he added, "Now then. The documents should be stored somewhere in the west part of the building, and we'll have to stop by the east. . ."

Shizuo pondered it for a moment, and decided he may as well speak up and make himself useful. "What do you need over in the east part?"

Izaya stopped, turning to face him with eyebrows raised.

"I just thought, you know, maybe I could help, so I'm not just following you around like a damn dog."

"You're willing to become an accomplice, then?"

"No!"

Izaya faced forward and continued walking until they reached an entrance - locked, of course.

Shizuo didn't even get to speak as Izaya pulled exactly what the blonde assumed he'd have out of his pocket.

"Of course you have a lock pick," he groaned, shaking his head. "You would be the bastard that breaks into all of his enemies' houses in the middle of the night just for fun."

As he unlocked the door, Izaya replied, "I haven't broke into your house, have I?"

"Not that I know of."

"I assure you, I haven't."

"I'm not all that convinced."

When they stepped inside, Izaya slid the bag he had brought along off his shoulder, digging through it and tossing a flashlight at Shizuo, turning one on for himself.

"Well, since you volunteered, I'm looking for two small vials filled with red liquid. There should be some needles packed along with them."

Shizuo blinked, a bit surprised that Izaya was going to trust him with it. "What are they for?"

"Something the black market wants to utilize."

"And you're going to sell it to them?" Shizuo replied in a deadpan.

Izaya grinned. "Not exactly."

Shizuo let out a sigh as he turned his flashlight, turning his back to the other man. "Whatever. Anyway, you're sure we won't get caught, right?"

"Always wanting to do the right thing, ne?" Izaya purred. "I'm sure a certain someone would alert me of any danger."

"And you couldn't have asked them to help you out instead?"

"You're much more entertaining than them, I assure you."

Shizuo took in the umpteenth deep breath for the day and began walking off to the east side of the building, questioning his decision all the while.

It was a bit of a restless search, and Shizuo found himself growing restless himself, letting out a few sporadic yawns. Eventually he found what Izaya asked for, trudging back to the entrance they came in from, only to have a lack of his nemesis. After a few minutes of waiting, he set what he had gathered down, grabbing his phone instead.

1:13.

[Where are you?]

[I'm on my way right now. That took a lot more effort than I thought it would.]

[Well hurry up. I'm tired.]

[I think I might stop and do a bit of sightseeing, then.]

Shizuo groaned and he put his phone away, picking the box of vials and needles back up as his wait furthered.

By the time Izaya returned, he was half asleep against the wall, eyes opening to meet Izaya's a little closer than he would've expected.

"Ready to go, Sleeping Beauty?"

"Never call me that again."

"I'm not up to make any false promises with you," Izaya said, yawning himself as he locked the door behind them.

"Never thought you'd say that."

Once again, Izaya climbed the fence first, leaping over like an idiot once more, and the two bid their farewells to Yagiri Pharm and to each other.

"Well, Shizu-chan, you'll never fail to surprise me."

"That your way of saying good night?"

"I'll see you tomorrow morning, nine o'clock sharp," Izaya replied. "Is that better?"

"Half-assed, but I guess it works."

Izaya smirked in return, turning his back to the bodyguard with a wave in farewell. "Good night, Sleeping Beauty."

"Remind me to kill you tomorrow."

. . .

1:35.

Shizuo lay on his side, closing his eyes with hopes of falling asleep instantly to help make up for the hours he was already missing.

Day one with Izaya was over, and he supposed it could have been worse.

Or was he getting too tired to think straight?

. . .Yeah, that had to be it.

. . .

8:01.

A poor, unfortunate Heiwajima Shizuo would come to the realization that he forgot one very crucial thing the day before.

 _Izaya never told me. . ._

"That damn _bastard!_ "

* * *

 **author's note**

Hey everyone! I just wanted to give a quick thanks to all of you who followed; I really appreciate it! The majority of you are new, so welcome aboard~ cx

Now, before I forget it again, I just wanted to mention that I imagine that this takes place between books 8 and 9 (to some degree, at least), which we will be seeing animated really soon, so spoilers should be pretty minor, and nothing after the events of 8 will be mentioned (with some exceptions.)

 **Zevv** : I about squealed when I saw it was you! Your reviews always cheer me up and I swear I've almost teared up before. Thank you for sticking around for so long! And as always, thank you for the review! One of my friends was with me when I got the email for this, so she can attest for just how shocked and happy I was. It's really nice knowing that you see improvement, and having you compare it to poetry about blew me away. I honestly can't see it in that way, but you can, and...wow. Again, thank you!

I'm not as happy with this chapter compared to the last one, and the next chapter is definitely iffy for me, but I'm quite happy with four and five at the moment. I will try and fix the next chapter, so hopefully you guys won't be disappointed.

As always, reviews are appreciated, and thank you for staying for yet another chapter! I'll see you Thursday!


	3. hatred is as blind as love

**iii - hatred is as blind as love  
**

Shizuo figured that Izaya was one to have many enemies, and that attempts would sometimes be made to take his life.

But the events of the following days working for the informant were nothing short of ridiculous in his eyes, especially considering the consequences that followed.

. . .

"Remind me again why I agreed to any of this."

"Probably because I don't sicken you as much as you led yourself to believe."

"No."

Shizuo rested his head on the back of Izaya's couch, tilting his head backward to look up and see Izaya strolling along on the second floor. His lips formed a wry smile, and he couldn't hold back a murmur of, "So your legs do work during the day. Funny."

Izaya snickered, resting his arms on the railing between them. "Usually I wouldn't attend to such tedious things myself, but today's unbearably boring."

"Probably because everyone's gotten tired of your shit."

"Nonsense. I have friends, too, Shizu-chan."

The blonde laughed in return, lifting his head up and stretching his arms behind him. "Name one."

"You're awful with names, so I doubt you would know them."

Shizuo grimaced without another word.

The sound of Izaya's feet making their way down the stairs hit his ears and seconds later he was facing the informant. Per usual, Izaya was pleased.

"Could it be you're finally starting to agree with me?"

"Like I'd side with a piece of shit like you."

"No need to be rude."

When Izaya was out of sight once again, Shizuo flipped his phone open to check the time. He hadn't even been there an hour, yet it felt like it had been much longer.

Izaya was muttering to himself again, and so Shizuo took the chance to interrupt him. "Well, if you don't have anything to do today, I guess that means I should leave. . ."

Another chuckle. "I said today was boring, that's all. Try not to confuse that with having nothing to do, ne?"

 _Dammit._

"What do you have to do, then?"

"First, I have a rescheduled client meeting to attend to."

"Great," Shizuo muttered bitterly.

"And you'll be joining me as a kouhai."

Shizuo could have sworn his eye twitched in that moment.

"I'm sorry, but when did you get to decide what I do?"

"I've been your boss as of yesterday, and sorry, Shizu-chan, but-" Izaya was standing in front of him now, pressing the tip of his switchblade against the other man's chest. "You're getting a terrible decrease in salary."

Every part of him was screaming, telling him to leave, and while every bone in his body ached to move and just attack, not a single thing could convince his mind.

It was still very new to him, but Heiwajima Shizuo now possessed control.

And with that in mind, he could not kill Orihara Izaya.

Someone else would try and do that job for him.

Several someones, at that.

. . .

"Fujikage Ryou. CEO of the Fujikage Conglomerate, a highly successful corporation here in Shinjuku. He has some dealings with another client of mine regarding the black market, so I'm going to try my best to. . .sort the issue out."

Shizuo mustered a light chuckle. "Sort the issue out, huh."

"I have to admit, I have a slight preference for Fujikage-san's friend instead, so I offered to help," Izaya said, turning and walking backwards as he faced Shizuo. "All I need is one simple slip of the tongue. He won't even know what hit him."

Shizuo shook his head in disappointment, walking alongside the informant now. "You really enjoy this, huh?"

"I can't help that humans are so entertaining. All they need is a little push to change which direction they might go, and I get to play the role of that push."

As he was now facing forward, Shizuo could see that Izaya's eyes were glinting as he spoke each word, though it certainly wasn't the glint in he saw in the man's sisters the day prior.

It was haunting.

"So, what exactly am I gonna do while you're off taking care of that?"

"Observe, of course," Izaya purred. "Now's my chance to show you what being human is all about."

Shizuo scowled, looking off ahead of them instead at Izaya. "You expect me to just sit around?"

"Just act as if you're an ordinary customer. Get yourself a nice lunch. Surely if your brother can act, you have at least some of his talent."

"Don't bring up my brother. Got that?"

"Ooh, that's what you could do. Why don't you call your brother? You're not allowed to leave, though."

"Sure thing, boss," Shizuo grumbled, walking off ahead and hoping that this meeting wouldn't take too much time out of his day.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Izaya forced Shizuo in first, waiting a few minutes before entering himself. Heaven forbid anyone see them together, Shizuo thought. _Not like this is Ikebukuro, anyway._

Without turning back to argue, Shizuo got a table for himself, catching Izaya out of the corner of his eye when the other man made his way inside. Coincidentally, the two were only a few tables away. Instead of partaking in Izaya's "human observation", however, he gave a quick look to the menu before pulling his phone out of his pocket, finding a text from Kasuka first.

[Hello, nii-san. Are you busy right now?]

[Yeah, sorry. Why? Did you want to head out somewhere?]

[Ruri-san and I were going to stop by the movie theater, and I was going to see if you wanted to come, too.]

[I will, if we can do it later. Maybe 8 or 9?]

[I'll see you.]

[Okay. Sorry.]

[Don't apologize, nii-san.]

Well, this week would certainly have been filled with interesting encounters. Izaya, the twins, and now Hijiribe Ruri.

Shizuo had nothing against the idol, it was just the way she looked at him, the way she shook around him.

It wasn't too hard to figure out that she was terrified.

" _Ruri-san has seen nii-san when he fights._ "

With a frown, he flipped his phone shut and waited for the time to pass.

He'd give occasional glances over towards Izaya and Fujikage as he ate, catching bits and pieces of their conversation. Though Izaya's back was to him, he could just hear the smirk in the info broker's words.

Fujikage was another story. Shizuo was no expert, but while the man's face was calm, he seemed awfully tense. Izaya seemed to be close to getting what he needed.

 _Good. Now hurry up, flea bastard. This is getting boring._

While things had been boring, Shizuo found himself shocked by what began to unfold.

Well, not so much shocked as he was concerned. Not that he would admit it.

Beads of sweat dappled Fujikage's face, his relaxed expression slowly beginning to fade. It was then that Shizuo caught a glimpse of the CEO shifting in his seat, speaking hastily to Izaya before slipping underneath the table. He thought nothing of it at first. Fujikage could have just been clumsy, like any person could be.

He wasn't just any person in that moment, however.

What Fujikage had in hand wasn't a dropped piece of silverware, but a gun.

 _Wait, what?_

 _You're kidding, right?  
_

 _He's actually going to try and shoot Izaya in the middle of a restaurant._

He thought something of it at least, and then. . .

 _He's going to try and shoot Izaya._

 _Shit._

What was one supposed to do when they saw someone else trying to attack their mortal enemy?

For one, Fujikage was obviously a pathetic opponent, having the mindset to shoot Izaya in a public place.

Besides, the gun was aimed at Izaya's leg. He'd recover from that. It wasn't like he was aiming for his face right then and there.

If he didn't alert Izaya, however, he'd never hear the end of it.

Yeah, that was why he was about to do what he did.

He had no other reason to.

And so, not knowing a better solution, he dialed Izaya's number, his nemesis picking up on the first ring.

"What's so important that you-"

"Shut up," Shizuo growled in a low voice. "That guy's about to shoot you. Thought you might like to know."

No gun shot sounded.

What followed, however, was a loud yelp, and Shizuo turned to see Fujikage with one hand to his face as he sat back up in the booth.

"Sorry about that, Fujikage-san."

Izaya pulled his leg back towards him, cautiously dragging the lone gun towards him as he did so.

"You bastard-"

"Let's make a deal, shall we?"

Shizuo managed a light chuckle, finishing his food in peace as he watched the poor soul that was Fujikage Ryou exit shakily.

And so went the first of many attempts to kill Orihara Izaya.

. . .

"I was handling the situation, Shizu-chan. Your warning was unnecessary."

"You were two seconds away from getting shot, and who knows what would have happened after that?"

"Is Shizu-chan concerned about my well-being?"

"No. I just have to be the one to kill you. That's all."

Shizuo wasn't one for lies, but he wasn't one for flattering a certain Orihara Izaya, either.

Either way, it didn't matter what he said - Izaya would always find some sort of amusement in it, which he understood well at this point.

"You're still going on with that, huh?"

Izaya looked up at him blankly after posing his question, adding on before he could respond.

"And what will you do after you kill me?"

Shizuo felt all color vanish from his face, answering warily.

"Live a happier life. . .probably."

Carmine eyes met chocolate again. "Probably?"

Shizuo cursed himself, correcting his statement with a, "Definitely."

"Interesting," was all Izaya said.

The two walked in silence until Shizuo caught them walking in the wrong direction, frowning as he spoke. "Isn't your apartment back that way?"

"I have another meeting."

Shizuo blinked. "And you're just going to walk around with that gun?"

"Why not? You never know when you might need something."

"Flea. . ." Shizuo started, curiosity and what he supposed could be wariness taking over. "You haven't killed someone before, have you?"

Izaya chuckled. "Of course not."

"So you're an empty threat kind of person."

"I suppose that makes two of us."

Once again, Shizuo could have sworn he felt a vein pop in his forehead.

. . .

Much to Izaya's relief, the remaining meetings of the day were attempted murder-free.

Shizuo was growing bored with his petty attempts to involve him in human observation, and was relieved when Izaya told him he could leave. He was able to keep his promise and meet Kasuka and Ruri, and like the day prior, the now three had a relaxing meeting. That night, he slept like a baby.

When he awoke, however, he couldn't help but send Izaya a quick text, even though he already knew the answer.

Probably.

[You still alive, flea?]

[Of course. Don't ask such stupid questions.]

With that, his third day as Izaya's "secretary" began.

. . .

"Is this something you do with all of your secretaries? Drag them around the whole damn city and have them people watch with you?"

"All of my. . ." Izaya didn't even finish, laughing in response. "Of course not. My only other secretary is much too boring for this."

Shizuo sighed. "And where are they now?"

"She's on vacation. I can be considerate, you know."

"If you say so," Shizuo mumbled, eyes wandering around Izaya's apartment. "So, who's next?"

Izaya's lips curved ever so slightly. "Hiyama Kozue. Though, she'll actually be stopping by here. I suppose you're in luck."

"No backstory?"

"Are you sure you aren't interested?" Izaya teased, and Shizuo instantly argued against it. "Well, much like another snooping outsider I know, she's a journalist intrigued with pretty much anything involving Ikebukuro. Gang fights, the supernatural, you name it. I'm her main source of information, though it wouldn't be fun if I didn't slip a few false rumors into the mix, now wouldn't it?"

Shizuo was silent, simply frowning at his final statement.

"Of course, she's slowly becoming famous for it. Notoriously famous. I've heard she's had a lot of trouble with her business lately, so knowing her, she's probably visiting today to give me her sob story and plead for advice."

"You're a disgusting bastard, you know?"

"You flatter me."

Shizuo grimaced, listening to the broker tap away at his keyboard instead of responding. As seconds upon seconds went by, and as Izaya didn't respond, Shizuo stood from his seat, making his way towards the door and stopping when he finally caught Izaya's attention.

"Shizu-ch-"

"Relax," Shizuo muttered, hand on the doorknob. "I'm just getting some fresh air."

Izaya was silent, and as Shizuo closed the door behind him, he let out a heavy sigh, dangling his arms over the balcony. He closed his eyes, breathing in and out for good measure. As his reopened eyes gazed upon the streets below him, he had to wonder - why was he still here? He could be out with Kasuka, or Tom and Varona, as he was supposed to be. There was an incredibly high chance that this was all for naught; he couldn't underestimate Izaya, after all. What he did know was that the other man had some sort of goal, and he supposed, subconsciously, he might have his own goals.

The first thought that came to mind was a weakness, which he couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it. Izaya having a weakness? A weakness he could somehow expose? It was unimaginable.

Secondly, he supposed he could play along with Izaya's game and find some way to fight back. It didn't have to be a weakness - just anything to make up for the hell he had been put through.

 _That would be interesting._

Out of habit, he dug into his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes, lighting one and putting it to his lips in thought.

How would one win against Orihara Izaya?

Nothing else would come to mind, so with another sigh, his cigarette was put out and his phone was in his hands, beeping with a new message.

[I trust your break is going well, Shizuo-senpai?]

With a smile, he replied. [Yeah. You haven't had any problems, have you?]

[Negative.]

[Actually, that is a lie. It would seem that Tanaka-senpai does not share our fondness for sweets. Cake will be very much necessary upon your return.]

[I'm not too sure what my plans are today, but we could go to the bakery after work if you want.]

[I would like that. Much thanks, Senpai.]

[No problem.]

As he put his phone away, the door opened behind him, and when he looked up, Izaya had appeared beside him. "For just a bit of fresh air, you're taking an awful long time. I might have to dock your pay again."

"Whatever," Shizuo replied, resting his arms once again. "So I'm guessing you're bored again."

"Just waiting for Kozue-chan to arrive. She should be here shortly."

"Did your 'friends' give up on you finally?" Shizuo looked over at him briefly, the informant's eyes out over the city, as expected. "I can't think of any other reason why you'd be out here."

"Just to bother you, perhaps?" Izaya grinned, eyes meeting Shizuo's.

Shizuo snorted. "You're doing a pretty shitty job, for once."

Izaya let out a chuckle. "Just you wait. Kozue-chan will be bothering you for hours upon hours."

Shizuo furrowed his brows, responding blandly. "Huh?"

"Did you not pay attention earlier? She's a journalist. There's no escaping the fact that she'll be bombarding you with questions."

"I didn't sign up for this."

"Well, it was nice knowing you, Shizu-chan," Izaya crooned, turning on his heel and entering his apartment, leaving quite the irritated Heiwajima Shizuo behind.

. . .

Hiyama Kozue made her grand appearance about fifteen minutes later, and sure enough, it took only two seconds for her to notice Shizuo, shoving her meeting with Izaya aside instantly.

"I-it's really you! H-Heiwajima Shizuo!"

Izaya's eyes glinted in amusement, and Shizuo shot him a look before reluctantly facing the journalist.

"Kozue-chan, meet Shizu-chan."

Before Shizuo had the chance to respond, Kozue was already bursting with more excitement. "Shizu-chan? That's adorable! But I thought you two hated one another? Are the rumors true? Are they really-"

"We do hate each other," Shizuo interrupted, already feeling a headache coming on. Honestly, this woman was about as eccentric as Mairu or Karisawa, if not more.

Kozue nodded twice, tapping her pen on her notepad, one leg making the same motion as she sat. "So, Heiwajima-san, if you two hate each other, then what are you doing here? N-not to be rude or intrusive, or a-anything!"

"Just Shizuo's fine," Shizuo muttered. "It's a long story."

"Tell me all about it, then!"

"I'd rather not. Besides, aren't you here to meet with the flea?"

Kozue cocked her head in question. "The flea?"

Izaya's gaze shifted between the two, and it was clear that he was trying his best not to burst out laughing.

"Oh, right, right! I'm sorry, Izaya-san! It seems I got caught up again."

"It's quite alright, Kozue-chan. It's not often you get to casually talk to someone like Shizu-chan."

"R-right!" Very obviously flustered, Kozue nodded, her glasses almost falling off her face as she turned to face Shizuo once again. "I'm really s-sorry, Shizuo-san, b-but there was something I wanted to talk to Izaya-san about in private."

 _Private?_ Warning signs went off in his head, though he gave her a weak, "Alright," in response. He looked at Izaya, though the informant barely seemed concerned. "I'll just go upstairs, then."

That caught Izaya's attention. His nemesis eyed him as he stood up, Shizuo turning his back to him as he went up the stairs for the first time.

When he reached the top, it was then that he realized there were no extra rooms upstairs, only Izaya's extensive bookshelves. At least that gave him an excuse to keep an eye on the two.

After all, he knew from experience not to underestimate girls that gave off a cute, innocent vibe. Exhibit A, the twins. Exhibit B, Akane. Exhibit C, Varona. All were powerful in their own ways, and though Izaya hadn't said anything specifically regarding Kozue, he could at least make an assumption.

Just a day prior, one of Izaya's clients made an attempt on his life. It didn't seem too far-fetched that someone might try again.

" _Knowing her, she's probably visiting today to give me her sob story._ "

 _Bastard. Why do I even care?_

Shizuo frowned, yet he still peeked out over the railing between the two floors, Kozue's back to him, much to his convenience.

"S-so, Izaya-san, as you know, my column isn't doing a-all that well, so I wanted to talk to you about a few things."

"Go right ahead. I'm all ears."

"Well, f-first of all, I want to do a follow-up on the human trafficking incidents from last year, a-and also the suicide pacts involved. . ."

Izaya frowned. "That's a rather odd choice. Honestly, I'd say there hasn't been anything related recently."

"Recently," Kozue echoed, voice low. "But I know you were involved."

 _Huh?  
_

"Oh? And who told you that?"

"A friend of mine. One you apparently drugged over a year ago. Even just telling me everything, she seemed terrified! And now that I know, you're going to pay for ruining her life!"

Shizuo watched as Kozue reached into the bag slung over her shoulder, shoving the bag aside as she lunged over Izaya's desk, Izaya sliding his chair away just in time. Kozue hit the floor with a loud thud, and seconds later came her scream in distress as she pulled herself together.

"Is this how you show your love for humans?!"

Izaya rose from his chair and Shizuo hovered at the first stair, waiting to see how the other man would handle this, and he supposed, he'd be on standby once again.

"Then I'll show you how much humanity loves you!"

Izaya pulled his switchblade out of one of his pockets, and Shizuo could see something poking out of the pocket facing him.

 _He still has the gun._

"Do you see, Shizuo-san?!" Kozue exclaimed, looking up and acknowledging his presence. Her eyes were wide and bright, but like Izaya's had been, they were empty, haunting. "I'm going to do you a favor!" Her focus went back to Izaya, and as she ran towards him, she swung her knife in attempt to slash him, missing.

"Then I can interview you!"

Another slash.

"And save my career!"

Another.

"Come on, destroy Izaya-san with me!"

Another.

"We can show him how much we _love_ him!"

The knife barely grazed Izaya's shoulder as he took hold of hers, pressing her against the wall and holding his switchblade to her neck.

"Izaya...san…"

"Honestly, can't we let bygones be bygones?" Izaya spoke, frown unwavering. "If anything, I saved your friend, and here you are, trying to go down a path that won't lead to anything promising."

Kozue squirmed underneath him, hissing, "You're a d-despicable human being! T-there's no way you saved my friend!"

"And that's exactly why you love me, isn't it?" Izaya said with a chuckle. "You're in love with color gangs, the supernatural, the people of Ikebukuro, everything...because of how horrible they are. Just like-"

"Don't compare me to you!"

"I wouldn't dream of it. You're just a lowly human who's decided to ruin their life, pursuing all these horrible things, and going as far to attempt murder. How would your friend feel about that?"

"Stop it!"

Tears were streaming down the journalist's face and Izaya released his hold of her, leaving her to run off, slamming the door behind him.

Neither Shizuo or Izaya spoke for some time, until Shizuo finally made his way downstairs, eyes meeting Izaya's.

"What the hell just happened?"

Izaya smirked. "I believe I was just a bit too vague with my description of her."

Shizuo raised his eyebrows.

"It's unimportant now. If you want, form your own conclusions. I did tell you that you'd be aiding me as a kouhai, after all."

"It's probably better if I don't know."

"Your choice."

And so, Shizuo supposed, this would just be another incident lost to the chaos that was Ikebukuro.

However, it wasn't one he could see himself forgetting that easily.

Ikebukuro truly was a terrifying city.

. . .

"Would I seriously regret asking you why you love humans?"

. . .

"I think I'll leave that as a story for another day, Shizu-chan."

* * *

 **author's note**

Worst chapter so far? Check.

I tried to fix this, but that didn't really do anything. I probably would've changed it completely if not for chapter four existing, and along the way I can definitely see myself going back and tweaking this, but for now I'll just leave it. I'm really sorry guys.

I can imagine some of you will silently nitpick at the lack of development and explanations with Fujikage and Kozue, but I did that for a reason. After this little bit of the story, they'll never be seen again. They'll just be grey background characters with no reason to expand on them. Kozue does have an influence on the story, but only somewhat, and so her role will have been fulfilled. I like to think of them like some of the characters we see briefly in the anime - they fulfill their purpose and then they're not seen again.

Of course there's the chance none of you are actually bothered enough by this and it's just me, but I thought it was worth explaining because this is the problem I have with this chapter. That, and how there's not a whole lot of development. These first few chapters are really just set-up chapters so I can actually start the story, so sorry about the slow pace. I don't want to rush anything important like last time.

Well, I'm pretty happy with the following chapters, so hopefully they'll make up for this.

 **Zev:** I'm trying to not be so hard of myself, but as we can see I'm failing already. uwu" Anyway, thank you again! I know the build-up is necessary, but I'm seriously hoping I don't go about it in the wrong way again. Ugh. So much worrying with this story. xD

As always, reviews are appreciated! I'd love to hear from you all~ (I also wanted to take a moment to point out that it does look like I didn't respond to nameless feeling's review, but if you're a registered member I reply to reviews through PM. Just a heads up~)

someone teach me how to condense author's notes, i really need that ability

Anyway, thank you all for reading and I'll see you next week!


	4. two is company, three's a crowd

**iv - two is company, three's a crowd  
**

It was as he was aiding a wounded Heiwajima Shizuo that Izaya stopped to think maybe, just maybe, he had no regrets in his current situation.

The man had just saved his life, after all. His mind was a bubble of all different emotions ready to burst, but as always, he held them back. Denial was simple, after all.

He was not happy.

He was not outraged.

He was not grateful.

In that moment, he was nothing.

Silent, supporting an barely conscious brute who weighed just a bit too much to carry for any longer. Expressionless, save for his occasional frowns and squinted eyes at Shizuo's weight threatening to push him down at any minute.

He supposed he had no regrets, and doing this would make them even.

He just wasn't kind enough a man to suffer through such a thing again.

. . .

When Shizuo had left him the night before, Izaya couldn't help but let out a sigh as he sunk down in his chair, the events from shortly before replaying through his mind.

Hiyama Kozue truly was an interesting human, much like several others, and Izaya's expression morphed into one of disgust at the thought of the two being anything alike. After all, his hobby was observing humans, not relating to them. And as always, Kozue was just another human. She'd soon be forgotten, lost in the crowds for the rest of her miserable life.

After spending some time gathering his thoughts, Izaya sat up straight and turned his computer on. It was fairly obvious that these murder attempts weren't a coincidence, and he knew exactly who to seek out regarding the situation.

[ **Orihara Izaya, reborn!** ]

[Tsukumoya Shinichi: Ah, I figured you'd be checking in sooner or later.]

[Orihara Izaya: Are you enjoying yourself?]

[Tsukumoya Shinichi: Don't sound so disappointed. It's just a little game.]

[Tsukumoya Shinichi: It's not entirely fair that you get to play all of these games without allowing an opponent to do the same, Orihara. Don't mistake my actions for anything as human as revenge or payback - I'm simply enjoying myself. Seems like you know me well enough already.]

[Orihara Izaya: How long do you plan on carrying this out?]

[Tsukumoya Shinichi: I wouldn't say that I'm the one carrying it out. This all depends on how many more people want to take their shot with you.]

[Orihara Izaya: I'll always need to be on alert, then.]

[Tsukumoya Shinichi: Well, with you keeping Heiwajima Shizuo around, this ought to be interesting. Lucky you.]

[Tsukumoya Shinichi: I suppose you could say your vacation's over.]

[Tsukumoya Shinichi: That was a good one, wasn't it?]

[ **Orihara Izaya, confirmed dead!** ]

[Tsukumoya Shinichi: You're quite the sore loser, Orihara.]

[ **Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!** ]

[ **Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!** ]

[ **Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!** ]

. . .

Izaya had a relatively short list of people who he sincerely disliked.

Shizuo, Yodogiri Jinnai, Mairu, and Kururi took the top spots, no questions asked.

There was a fifth amongst their ranks, however.

An unknown entity by the name of Tsukumoya Shinichi.

Famous to the public as an author, and infamous to others as another information broker, Tsukumoya was a mystery - and to Izaya, a nuisance, a virus.

He was one person Izaya never had the upper hand with, earning him an appropriate position in the informant's list.

 _Damn Tsukumoya._

With a yawn, Izaya rose from his seat, heading to the kitchen and wasting no time to set his coffee pot.

It was going to be a long night.

. . .

When Shizuo arrived the next morning, he was met with a locked door and no answer from Izaya.

With it being early in the morning, this wasn't something he wanted to put up with.

He had already managed to maintain his sanity over the past three days, much to his surprise, but he wasn't too sure how much more he could handle.

Knocking louder than any of his other attempts, Shizuo bellowed, "Flea, open your damn door already! I don't have time for this!"

Which, from him, was surprisingly a lie.

He obviously had the time, considering he was standing at the door in the first place.

Maybe he had already lost his mind.

"I'm breaking your door down if you don't open it in the next ten seconds."

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six.

. . .

"Honestly, Shizu-chan."

. . .

Four, three, two.

The door unlocked, and Shizuo was met with an exhausted-looking Izaya, bags beginning to form under his darkened eyes.

"I was startin' to think you were dead." Shizuo crossed his arms, waiting for the broker to step aside before entering his apartment once again.

Izaya let out a long yawn, putting one hand over his mouth and the other to his hair as he walked. "I didn't fall asleep until about an hour ago, and you so rudely woke me up."

It was concerning to see him lose even a bit of his composure, his voice disturbingly meek, gaze distant and unfocused.

What was more surprising was the fact that Izaya voluntarily let him see him in such a state.

That couldn't be from just one night less of sleep.

"So, what hell are you going to put me through today?"

"Haven't decided."

Izaya deviated from his usual path, leaving Shizuo by himself to take his seat on the couch. He reappeared afterward, coffee cup in hand as he approached his desk. Shizuo raised his eyebrow at him, though couldn't help but be just a bit amused.

"When was the last time you slept?"

Izaya eyed him from over the cup, setting it down and shifting his attention to his computer. "That's not important."

"Just making sure my _boss_ is in top condition."

"Don't push your luck, Shizu-chan," Izaya replied. "It's not as if I'm drunk. I can still manage as usual."

"And what if someone tries to kill you again?"

The informant scowled. "I don't have any meetings today." He paused, adding a quick afterthought, "I think."

"Then let's make a deal. I leave and we don't have any problems. Sound good?"

Izaya came off as lost in thought before giving his answer. "You know, I think I've figured out how today is going to go."

Shizuo turned his head. "No."

"You did say that you wanted to make sure your boss was in top condition," he trailed off, smug attitude easily resurfacing. "So, as part of your job, you should stay."

Shizuo huffed, muttering under his breath, "Says you."

"Perhaps you've forgotten our initial agreement."

"Screw the agreement. You're just talking shit."

Izaya managed a feeble chuckle. "I assure you, I'm not lying."

"Like I'd believe that." Eyes narrowed, Shizuo turned to face the other man, both silent as they exchanged glances.

"I mean it, Shizu-chan," Izaya continued, taking another sip of his coffee. "I've been bored lately. There's nothing to stop me from scouting you out every day, following you around at work, showing up at your door, never leaving you alone. . ."

"Soon as you try that, you'll be a dead man."

The blonde rose from the couch, back to Izaya as he wandered towards the door.

"I'm sick of listening to you. Do me a favor and never step foot in 'Bukuro again, bastard."

And just like that, he was gone.

Izaya could only laugh.

. . .

With only the faint ticking of a clock and clicking of keys to keep him company, Izaya could safely say that he was beyond bored.

He had planned his day centered on the assumption that Shizuo would grudgingly stay, and as always, his enemy never failed to surprise him.

[No one is in the chatroom right now.]

The lonely informant heaved a sigh.

It was too quiet.

Namie's absence had this effect on him every time. That wasn't to say he missed her - no, that was a ridiculous thought. He had simply become accustomed to her presence.

A normal person would probably kick back and relax, thankful that they could get a break from the events of days prior.

Orihara Izaya, however, was anything but normal.

What did normal people do on their day off?

He wouldn't know.

What he did know was that he wanted nothing more than to sleep. His boredom was driving him to a breaking point; a breaking point where he was beginning to grow tired of everything. It wasn't often that things turned out in that way. He was supposed to be above humanity, hellbent on observing and interfering on a daily basis. He was supposed to be a broker, with a never ending search for new information and list of clients.

Today, he was just a human.

A restless, abnormal human.

The thought disgusted him.

And like any human would in that situation, he cast aside that thought.

What remained was his desire for sleep as he stared blankly at the ceiling, one word echoing over and over as time passed.

 _Pathetic._

. . .

His day hadn't been filled entirely with misfortune, however.

He had finally fallen asleep after what felt like days, waking up a short hour later, he assumed.

Nighttime had graced the city, and Izaya, not willing to suffer through more sleepless hours in vain, slipped into his coat for the first time that day and exited his apartment. With him only getting a good two hours of sleep in, how many days had it been - five? - his trip didn't come with error. He had carelessly tripped over his own feet, almost sending himself down a flight of stairs, had he not gripped the railing in time.

The utter frustration he had already been experiencing only worsened.

In that instant, he could only be thankful that neither Namie nor Shizuo were present, or else he would never hear the end of it.

Shizuo.

It was funny, really. Almost as if he was truly considering the blonde to be another secretary, not his sworn enemy.

It was so funny it was sickening.

This was just another game, after all. After tomorrow, he wouldn't have to face Shizuo for weeks, possibly months, after tiring him out for five consecutive days.

It was just needed entertainment while Namie was most likely spending her days hunting her brother down at every opportune moment.

It was just something to amuse him while Ikebukuro went through another peaceful phase.

Hmm, how could he drive Shizuo insane with one day remaining?

How could he leave him disgruntled during his absence?

Surprisingly, he hadn't thought of a grand finale.

His eyes wandered through the sea of lights illuminating the city streets, questions flooding his mind with each step he took. It was almost too much for his tired brain to handle, while it also gave him some energy.

It was almost as if he was normal again.

That is. . .

"Shizu-chan?"

He froze, and Izaya saw his head lower as he put a hand to it in frustration, eliciting a weak chuckle from the informant.

"Fancy seeing you again."

"Cut the act, flea," Shizuo snapped, turning to face him. "Get out of here before I force you out."

Izaya chuckled once more. "You know, Shizu-chan, you still have one day left. That's quite the impression you're making, talking-"

Shizuo's hand went for his collar once again, and the blonde pulled him from the small crowd onto a different street, keeping his hold on Izaya afterward.

"Shut up."

"Come on, Shizu-chan, don't you-"

"I said shut up!" Shizuo growled, glaring daggers at a silenced Izaya. After a pause, the blonde sighed, murmuring in a quieter voice, "I thought I heard her."

"Her?"

"Kosuke, or whatever her name was."

Instead of receiving the smirk he had expected, Izaya frowned in response, and Shizuo couldn't help but notice the difference in the other man's expression.

It was almost as if he was anxious.

"Kozue."

"Close enough."

Shizuo turned to get a quick glimpse at the passersby, frowning when he saw a hooded person standing at the beginning of the street.

"Ah, Shizuo-san, I see great minds think alike!"

Sure enough, when the hood fell back, familiar orange curls bounced over the third person's shoulders as they wore a wide smile.

"This is quite the coincidence, though! I even have my friend with me!"

Kozue yanked her hand forward, pulling a shorter girl that had been behind her forward.

"Kozue-chan? What's going on?"

She ignored her friend's question, eyes gleaming as they fell upon Izaya, the informant glaring in response. He made a vain attempt to pry Shizuo's hand away, but as he knew to expect, the other man didn't budge.

"What do you say, Shizuo-san?" Kozue continued, taking a step forward. "Let's team up and kill Izaya-san together today!"

Shizuo released his hold on Izaya's shirt, and the informant let out a light sigh as he turned to face Kozue.

The girl dug into her pockets, hand meeting the butt of a gun as she held it out in front of her. "You didn't even notice you dropped this yesterday, Izaya-san. How convenient!"

"Kozue-chan," The girl beside her whimpered, gripping her arm.

"Are you really that persistent?" Izaya finally spoke, one hand in his own pocket. "Aren't you worried? There's quite a few people nearby. That, and wouldn't it disappoint you to go home empty-handed again?"

Kozue didn't respond, grin still present as she pulled her hood over her head.

Izaya's eyes fell upon the gun, and everything stopped.

. . .

He heard gunshots, but when he truly returned to his senses, he felt no pain.

Instead, his field of vision was blocked by a now bloodied bartender suit.

 _Shizu-chan?_

It seemed as if time had been slowed as he watched Shizuo fall in front of him, his enemy sinking to his knees as blood pooled beneath him.

Izaya looked up, and Kozue had sprinted past him after letting out a panicked scream. Friend in tow behind her, she ran as fast as her feet would take her, speaking quietly and hurriedly.

"I-I didn't mean to hurt Shizuo-san! Asuka-chan, what do I do?! What do I do?!"

He listened to their footsteps vanish into the night, and once again his gaze fell upon Shizuo. Reluctantly, he got on his knees, flinching at the blood soaking into his pants as he tried his best to get Shizuo up. It was a hassle, but eventually, Izaya managed to support him with one arm while he held his phone in his opposite hand.

"Flea."

Izaya wasn't sure what to think when Shizuo's raspy voice sounded in his ear. Was he supposed to be happy? Outraged? Grateful?

In that moment, he was nothing.

"Shinra, I need a favor."

. . .

As he sat among the silence in Shinra's usually lively apartment, Izaya had to wonder, why did he agree to this?

After patching Shizuo up, Shinra, along with Celty, left Izaya alone at their kitchen table, his gaze falling over a sleeping Shizuo every few minutes as the unsettling silence of the apartment swept over him.

He still couldn't fathom that Shizuo had saved him, even with cold hard evidence lying only a few feet away.

. . .

 _[Did you do this?]_

 _"How rude, Celty." Izaya smiled grimly._

 _Celty waited a moment, hands steadying after her initial freakout. [Right, it couldn't be you.]_

 _"Of course. If I was out to kill him, I wouldn't have resorted to such boring methods. That, and I like to assume my aim isn't that bad."_

 _[What happened, then?]_

 _"We ran into each other coincidentally-"_

 _"I doubt that," Shizuo interrupted, earning a frown from Shinra as the latter began to clean his wounds._

 _"And we also coincidentally ran into a client who tried to kill me yesterday. Shizu-chan took the bullet for me, and she ran off in a panic without bothering to do her job."_

 _"I suppose this is an accomplishment for you, since you actually thought to bring him here," Shinra joined in. "Congratulations, Orihara-kun."_

 _Izaya crossed his arms, resting them on the top of the couch. "I can't have my monster dying on me yet."_

 _"If I didn't know you two any better, I would say there's a friendship forming here."_

. . .

The thought was enough to disturb him for the rest of the night.

Friendship wasn't something that was nonexistent in his life.

He just wasn't willing to suffer through such a thing again.

. . .

"You're thinking about it again, aren't you."

It wasn't so much a question as it was fact, leaving Izaya with a bittersweet smile as he looked up, Shinra appearing in front of him.

"It's that easy to tell, huh." He turned his head, catching a quick glimpse at the clock. "What happened to not being interested in humans?"

Shinra took a seat across from him, chuckling lightly as he did so. "I wouldn't be a very good friend if I didn't pay enough attention to you, would I?"

Izaya felt his eyes widen and he began to look away, hoping Shinra wouldn't notice. As he knew to expect, however, he noticed, and Izaya faced him once again, grimacing.

"You're a horrible friend, Shinra."

Shinra was silent before replying, "Maybe I am."

. . .

He supposed he knew why he couldn't believe that Shizuo had saved him.

It wasn't because he hated him, it wasn't because Shizuo was a monster.

It was simply because someone had already saved him once before.

Twelve years prior, one Kishitani Shinra made the bold decision to shield him from another classmate.

Izaya had been stunned beyond words.

Kishitani Shinra, the strange boy who approached him out of nowhere asking for help with a biology club. The strange boy, who, as he came to discover, had no interest in human life, only that of a Dullahan's. The strange boy who had become and would remain as his only friend.

Izaya was an observer, someone who avoided frivolous things in life such as friendship and love.

The only love he had was for the entire human race, a race that despised him in return.

The only friend he had was Kishitani Shinra, the first person to ever give any consideration towards his well being.

. . .

"At least you're aware of it." Izaya yawned as he spoke, putting a hand to his mouth before rising from his seat. "Now then, if you don't mind, I'll be taking my leave."

"Orihara-kun."

"Don't tell me you're going to force me to stay."

Shinra shook his head. "I considered it, but I know you wouldn't do it."

Silence.

"If you're going to say something else, you may as well say it now," Izaya murmured.

Shinra sighed. "There's no use in me prattling this late at night. See you, Orihara-kun."

. . .

 _If I didn't know you two any better, I would say there's a friendship forming here._

* * *

 **author's note  
**

Well, I guess it's a good thing I just checked Tumblr, or else you guys might not have gotten this chapter until Monday. cx" Sorry this is out a little later than usual! I try to have them up by at least 11 or 12 EST, but I've been so focused on preparations for the con I'll be at all weekend.

That said, I'll hopefully have some opportunities to write and hopefully I can get back on schedule. I'm so far behind and it's killing me. Chapter five should be out on time, though. I've just been at a complete lack of ideas these past few weeks. Sorry in advance.

Anyway, there's a little bit of a spoiler here for those of you who only watch the anime (whoops). I needed to include it this time, though. One past mistake fixed? Check. I also couldn't go through this fic without acknowledging Tsukumoya. Sadly he's a LN-only character right now, but I do hope that changes and he's included somehow. Also, I did say I feel like this takes place between 8 and 9 but I'm thinking more 7 and 8 now, or episodes 4 and 5 of this cour. Eh, this is an AU. Let's not get too technical.

 **Zev:** Yeah, I know it won't always pick up, but I mind it. xD Oh well. Anyway, thank you again! c:

 **Guest:** I hope you enjoy the rest! And heh, Izaya sure doesn't want to, but sadly he doesn't get a say. I'm the ruler here. uwu Anyway, thank you for your reviews!

Part of me feels like this chapter is lacking something but eh, I'm probably just imagining it.

That all said, reviews are always appreciated, and thank you for sticking around for yet another chapter! I'll see you next week!


	5. a final apology and thank you

Hey everyone.

It's been quite a while, hasn't it?

I know, I can't even begin to apologize for making you all wait this long and you aren't even getting a new chapter.

Again.

I'm really sorry to disappoint you, but I won't be continuing this fic. Ever, possibly. Now before you click out of this tab, I just want to say a few things.

I just wanted to thank all of you, all 41 of you who returned or joined for this version and all of the original 107 followers, even though most of them will probably never read this.

Without your support, I wouldn't have grown as a writer. It's hard to see any improvement through t&e, but because of you all, I've put months of effort into an original story that never would have been possible for me to think of beforehand. While I absolutely cannot read any chapter of this fic without cringing (well, more so the original than this one), I'm thankful for taking the leap of faith with posting it here, because it's helped me grow. Before writing the original first chapter, I hadn't written anything in roughly a year. And here I am now, almost two years later, unable to go a day without thinking of _something_ for my story.

I jumped way too quickly into this rewrite. I even said that when I started again. While I am more content with the revised version, I should have waited until I improved more. I had already started my story by then and I should have given it more time, that way I might have been able to finish t&e the second time around.

Even so, I had a good run with you guys. Seriously, thank you. I mean it.

I'm not done with fic forever, though. _Eventually_ I'll get around to writing at least one Shizaya fic. With the final cour of x2 airing and with the definitive angst incoming, I can see myself possibly getting in the mood for writing something. I want to give you all something you deserve, but with me there's no telling how long that will take. I won't even be able to thank you all with just a simple one shot.

I'll admit, I've been falling out of the Shizaya part of the drrr fandom lately. The hiatus between Ten and Ketsu absolutely killed me, so I was aiming to participate in an event someone on tumblr came up with, Renai Shizaya. If you weren't around here (well, I don't even know if it made here; I haven't been on here in months), ao3, or tumblr during November, basically the whole idea was everyone to write fluff, and only fluff, throughout the month. I had some ideas floating around, so maybe I'll pick up on those. I tried working on chapter five for _months_ , but I've dug myself the biggest grave with this fic and I can't see there being any way to fix it.

While rewatching seasons 1 and 2, I cringed so many times because I kept thinking back to the original fic and just how _wrong_ everything was. Even some bits here are bothering me like crazy.

Anyway, if you're somehow interested in reading more of my writing or if you're alright with seeing more of me in your life, my tumblr is insanity-the-scribe. It's a complete mess filled with fandoms, spoilers, and memes galore, but hey. If you want someone to talk to, I'd be glad to try and carry out a conversation with you. c: We can cry over Ketsu or another show together or something. cx Or if you just want trash on your dash, I'm here. And maybe, just maybe, I'll post some of my writing on there once I actually finish something.

So, thank you once again. (tried to put a heart here until i remembered ff formatting won't let it go through oops)

You all have made me so happy with your kind and encouraging reviews; even just seeing that you followed or favorited this always made my day. c:

Here's to hoping I'll see you next time~


End file.
